I wanted to write a long time ago, but it has been sure hard to find the time. I spend 7+ hours a day feeding my baby. That's more than I sleep. It's taking a bit to get used to, but I'm loving every second of it.
This next bit is going to be more of a journal entry for me. I'm going to write all the gory and glorious details of labor so I can remember it for next time. If you have a weak stomach, you may not want to read all of it... I'm not going to censor anything. :)
As you can probably tell by the previous post, I was pretty miserable the last few weeks before Sadie came. I had been dilated to a 2 and 80% effaced for 3 weeks before she came. I remember watching her due date (the 15th) come and go, so I set my hopes on having a little leprechaun on the 17th. Sadly, I watched St. Patty's day come and go as well. Finally, on Thursday the 18th, I went to the Doc for a non-stress test. After the test, the doctor asked me when I wanted to have this baby. "As soon as possible," I replied. He then proceeded to tell me he finally had enough medical evidence to admit me to be induced and I could be induced starting that day at 4. I was so happy I almost started crying. On our way out, I was thinking, I should double check with the secretaries to make sure I can get admitted at 4. But Spencer was rushing me out because he wanted to watch the BYU basketball game. Stupid basketball.
So, we headed home and double checked that I had everything packed and ready for my hospital stay. I was so happy I almost didn't notice the contractions I was having were getting pretty intense and very close together. We were at my in-laws at about 11 and my contractions were making me double over. I didn't think too much about it though because the doctor had checked my cervix and I often cramped after he checked it. I assumed they would stop like all the other ones had. At 1:30 the contractions were making me want to hold my breath and they were coming consistently every 5 minutes. I kept thinking to myself, is this really happening? Could I actually be going into real labor just hours after I was promised an induction?
We arrived at the hospital at 4pm and I gave the check in nurse my name... well, she looked at me and said they weren't expecting me. I felt my heart drop. (Again, let me say, I hate basketball.) She said she would call Dr. Young and double check to see if they could get me in. So, we headed to the waiting room. After 15 minutes a nurse came in and said they finally got a hold of Dr. Young, but she didn't have any rooms available yet. She had one being cleaned at that moment, but it wouldn't be ready till 5. She recommended we get something to eat and come back. Relieved that I was still going to be induced, and working through the pain of my now every 3 minute contractions, we headed to Wendy's. At Wendy's, I had a hard time eating because of my very intense and frequent contractions. They had gotten to the point where I was getting light-headed and I could feel the blood leaving my extremities how it does when I'm in really bad pain. Inside, however, I was very happy to know what labor actually feels like so I can be a little more prepared for next time. I found it ironic that Sadie was letting me know she was in charge till the very end. I'm sure that as soon as she got wind that I was going to be induced she said, "Yeah right mom. I'm coming on my own."
We went back to the hospital and got checked into room 313. The nurse then got me hooked up to an IV so she could start me on the cervix thinning chemicals. After she got the needle in, (quite the feat since I hate needles so much) she checked my cervix one last time. While checking me, she looked up and said, "You're dilated to a 3 and your cervix is very thin and stretchy. We may not need to put you on that chemical. Let me check with Dr.Young." So the nurse left and Dr. Young came by about an hour later. He checked me, told me I was dilated to a 4, and then proceeded to break my water. It looked like he was sticking a crochet hook up there, but I didn't really feel anything besides my contractions. After breaking my water, he said, we're just going to start you on petosin (skipping the hours of cervix thinning stuff) and you'll probably have a baby by morning. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.
A new nurse came in and started the petosin. Her name was Karine and she was the nurse who helped me through the entire labor process. I really liked her. After hooking up my IV's, she asked me if I wanted an epidural. I was surprised I could get it at what seemed so soon, but I didn't hesitate to say yes. The anesthesiologist came and gave me instructions on how to sit, how it was going to sting like a bee sting at first, and then how the numbness would feel. He also told me I should feel pressure throughout the labor, but never pain. If the pressure began to feel uncomfortable, I was to push a little button and it would administer a little more medicine. I was nervous about the needle, but they were good about not letting me see it. When I'm nervous, I get really clammy and if it's even a little cold where I am, I start to shake pretty bad. My mom, Linda, and Spencer were all there coaching me through what I considered the scariest part of the evening. After I was hooked up, I immediately began feeling a warmth spread down my left leg and then down my right leg. I was not expecting warmth, but boy, did I like it. Suddenly, my legs were feeling better than they had in months. I knew from then on, I was going to love labor. Pregnancy was soon to be over.
After checking my cervix--a 6 and only a lip of cervix left--Karine told me it was going to be few hours so I was to get some rest. I had to rotate from lying on my left side to my right side every half hour or so though because if I stayed on one side too long, Sadie's heart beat would start to decelerate. I was ok with turning though and I asked to have the heart rate monitor turned up so I could also keep track of how her heart was doing. As the night continued on, Karine continued to frequently check on me. I began feeling pressure down there-- kind of like I needed to go to the bathroom, so I told Karine. She checked me and told me I was fully dilated and she could feel the baby's head. She told me she was going to call Dr. Young and have me start pushing soon. I was so excited and called my mom and Linda--they were sleeping in the waiting room--to come in.
(On a side note, I asked Linda to be with me through labor and I'm so glad I did. Before having Sadie, I just knew Linda needed to be there. Now Linda is very sick and I'm glad that we had that moment with each other. The doctors know she has an auto-immune disease, but they don't know exactly what is happening to her. Her body is attacking itself and we don't know how far it's going to go. Some doctor's have mentioned a possibility paralysis which breaks my heart. I hope she always knows what a support she was to me and baby Sadie.)
Karine told me that for pushing I was to push as hard as I could for 3 sets of 10 seconds. We would start the pushing at a beginning of a contraction. In between contractions, they put an oxygen mask on me because Sadie's heart would slow down a little between contractions if I didn't have it. Ever since my first emergency room experience from asthma, I have loved oxygen masks, so I treated the mask as my reward for pushing. I thought it was great.
After an hour of pushing Sadie was here. She arrived at 3:58am. It didn't feel like a whole hour of pushing. I guess breaking things up into intervals makes the time go by faster. Something I'll be sure to remember for when I'm working off that baby weight. Either way, Karine said that only pushing for an hour is short for a first time mom. Oh, I do remember at one point she had me feel Sadie's head before she was out. It was a little weird. She had also asked me if I wanted a mirror before I started pushing. I told her, "No thanks. I think there is a reason my head is up here." Dr. Young also told me he was impressed with how little I tore. I guess that's another good thing for a first time mom. Anyhow, when Sadie came out, the first thing I remember was looking at Linda and we both started crying. Linda was telling me how beautiful she was. My mom was commenting on how Sadie's arm came flying out like superman right after her head came out. Spencer was beaming and he later told me he was so impressed and proud of me. I was trying to see her, but they had whisked her away to clean out her lungs and other stuff. Spencer went over to be with her and I was stuck lying on the bed while Dr. Young sewed me up. I remember thinking, If I really only tore a little bit, what on earth is taking you so long?! I want to see my baby! Eventually, the stitching was done and this beautiful little baby with a full head of hear and puffy pink lips was sitting in my arms. Being the emotional person that I am, I looked at her and cried tears of joy and love. Finally, I was a mom.
Eventually, I fell asleep and the epidural wore off. I remember waking up feeling like I was sitting on water balloons and then I realized that was me... I was finally realizing the trauma my body had gone through to push out my almost 8 lb baby. Luckily, the hospital gives you lots of percocet, motrin 800, and gloves filled with ice for sitting on. (I loved those) Recovery began pretty good except that my bladder distended. That means I stretched it out so much that they had to put a catheter in me to drain it. The first time they drained 2 liters out of me. When I still couldn't pee on my own, they left the catheter in for a while. Eventually, my bladder began working normal again. To be honest, I liked the catheter. After months of getting up several times in the night to pee, I didn't have to. It was nice.
All in all, I can say I was definitely a grouchy pregnant lady, but now I'm a very happy mom. I didn't get any post-pardum depression (I had pre-pardum depression). Everytime I wake up, I looked into the face of my little angel and my heart swells with joy. She really is an angel. Of all the things I expected least, I never thought I'd have a good baby. But she is perfect. Katie lives upstairs and practically drools at how lucky I've been. My baby hardly cries and she sleeps great. She even loves bath time and it is sure fun to play dress up with all of her hair. We did, however, have a little bit of a bump at the beginning with nursing because her latch was wrong. By day 6 my nipples were scabbed, bleeding, and incredibly sore. I had gotten to the point where I only wanted to pump because it hurt so much to feed her. Thankfully, I called a lactation specialist from WIC to help me. Her name was Wendy and she helped me get my milk supply back up. I didn't catch the family curse of being an overproducer so I'm glad I called Wendy before my milk completely dried up. She also helped me get Sadie's weight back up to where it needs to be. I am so grateful to her and to WIC for providing that service. I don't know what I would have done without them. Now, I'm just waiting for Sadie to hit the 3 month mark where she should have her first growth spurt and start sucking harder. When that happens, I won't have to feed her every 2 hours and I might remember what it feels like to sleep deeply again. We'll have to see. Maybe that's when my angel won't be so angelic anymore. ;)
No matter what, I am so happy to be a mom. I've always been so independent, so I never thought I would enjoy having such a little one dictate my life, but honestly, I've never felt so satisfied. I am so glad we decided to have a family. After coming home, Spencer gave me a blessing and in it I was told that Sadie and I are going to be best friends here on earth and throughout eternity. I can already feel our friendship starting. Even though she can't talk, I feel so connected with her. I find myself laughing at her adorable expressions and singing and talking to her all the time. I have a feeling the most important chapter of my life has begun--thank goodness.
This next bit is going to be more of a journal entry for me. I'm going to write all the gory and glorious details of labor so I can remember it for next time. If you have a weak stomach, you may not want to read all of it... I'm not going to censor anything. :)
As you can probably tell by the previous post, I was pretty miserable the last few weeks before Sadie came. I had been dilated to a 2 and 80% effaced for 3 weeks before she came. I remember watching her due date (the 15th) come and go, so I set my hopes on having a little leprechaun on the 17th. Sadly, I watched St. Patty's day come and go as well. Finally, on Thursday the 18th, I went to the Doc for a non-stress test. After the test, the doctor asked me when I wanted to have this baby. "As soon as possible," I replied. He then proceeded to tell me he finally had enough medical evidence to admit me to be induced and I could be induced starting that day at 4. I was so happy I almost started crying. On our way out, I was thinking, I should double check with the secretaries to make sure I can get admitted at 4. But Spencer was rushing me out because he wanted to watch the BYU basketball game. Stupid basketball.
So, we headed home and double checked that I had everything packed and ready for my hospital stay. I was so happy I almost didn't notice the contractions I was having were getting pretty intense and very close together. We were at my in-laws at about 11 and my contractions were making me double over. I didn't think too much about it though because the doctor had checked my cervix and I often cramped after he checked it. I assumed they would stop like all the other ones had. At 1:30 the contractions were making me want to hold my breath and they were coming consistently every 5 minutes. I kept thinking to myself, is this really happening? Could I actually be going into real labor just hours after I was promised an induction?
We arrived at the hospital at 4pm and I gave the check in nurse my name... well, she looked at me and said they weren't expecting me. I felt my heart drop. (Again, let me say, I hate basketball.) She said she would call Dr. Young and double check to see if they could get me in. So, we headed to the waiting room. After 15 minutes a nurse came in and said they finally got a hold of Dr. Young, but she didn't have any rooms available yet. She had one being cleaned at that moment, but it wouldn't be ready till 5. She recommended we get something to eat and come back. Relieved that I was still going to be induced, and working through the pain of my now every 3 minute contractions, we headed to Wendy's. At Wendy's, I had a hard time eating because of my very intense and frequent contractions. They had gotten to the point where I was getting light-headed and I could feel the blood leaving my extremities how it does when I'm in really bad pain. Inside, however, I was very happy to know what labor actually feels like so I can be a little more prepared for next time. I found it ironic that Sadie was letting me know she was in charge till the very end. I'm sure that as soon as she got wind that I was going to be induced she said, "Yeah right mom. I'm coming on my own."
We went back to the hospital and got checked into room 313. The nurse then got me hooked up to an IV so she could start me on the cervix thinning chemicals. After she got the needle in, (quite the feat since I hate needles so much) she checked my cervix one last time. While checking me, she looked up and said, "You're dilated to a 3 and your cervix is very thin and stretchy. We may not need to put you on that chemical. Let me check with Dr.Young." So the nurse left and Dr. Young came by about an hour later. He checked me, told me I was dilated to a 4, and then proceeded to break my water. It looked like he was sticking a crochet hook up there, but I didn't really feel anything besides my contractions. After breaking my water, he said, we're just going to start you on petosin (skipping the hours of cervix thinning stuff) and you'll probably have a baby by morning. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.
A new nurse came in and started the petosin. Her name was Karine and she was the nurse who helped me through the entire labor process. I really liked her. After hooking up my IV's, she asked me if I wanted an epidural. I was surprised I could get it at what seemed so soon, but I didn't hesitate to say yes. The anesthesiologist came and gave me instructions on how to sit, how it was going to sting like a bee sting at first, and then how the numbness would feel. He also told me I should feel pressure throughout the labor, but never pain. If the pressure began to feel uncomfortable, I was to push a little button and it would administer a little more medicine. I was nervous about the needle, but they were good about not letting me see it. When I'm nervous, I get really clammy and if it's even a little cold where I am, I start to shake pretty bad. My mom, Linda, and Spencer were all there coaching me through what I considered the scariest part of the evening. After I was hooked up, I immediately began feeling a warmth spread down my left leg and then down my right leg. I was not expecting warmth, but boy, did I like it. Suddenly, my legs were feeling better than they had in months. I knew from then on, I was going to love labor. Pregnancy was soon to be over.
After checking my cervix--a 6 and only a lip of cervix left--Karine told me it was going to be few hours so I was to get some rest. I had to rotate from lying on my left side to my right side every half hour or so though because if I stayed on one side too long, Sadie's heart beat would start to decelerate. I was ok with turning though and I asked to have the heart rate monitor turned up so I could also keep track of how her heart was doing. As the night continued on, Karine continued to frequently check on me. I began feeling pressure down there-- kind of like I needed to go to the bathroom, so I told Karine. She checked me and told me I was fully dilated and she could feel the baby's head. She told me she was going to call Dr. Young and have me start pushing soon. I was so excited and called my mom and Linda--they were sleeping in the waiting room--to come in.
(On a side note, I asked Linda to be with me through labor and I'm so glad I did. Before having Sadie, I just knew Linda needed to be there. Now Linda is very sick and I'm glad that we had that moment with each other. The doctors know she has an auto-immune disease, but they don't know exactly what is happening to her. Her body is attacking itself and we don't know how far it's going to go. Some doctor's have mentioned a possibility paralysis which breaks my heart. I hope she always knows what a support she was to me and baby Sadie.)
Karine told me that for pushing I was to push as hard as I could for 3 sets of 10 seconds. We would start the pushing at a beginning of a contraction. In between contractions, they put an oxygen mask on me because Sadie's heart would slow down a little between contractions if I didn't have it. Ever since my first emergency room experience from asthma, I have loved oxygen masks, so I treated the mask as my reward for pushing. I thought it was great.
After an hour of pushing Sadie was here. She arrived at 3:58am. It didn't feel like a whole hour of pushing. I guess breaking things up into intervals makes the time go by faster. Something I'll be sure to remember for when I'm working off that baby weight. Either way, Karine said that only pushing for an hour is short for a first time mom. Oh, I do remember at one point she had me feel Sadie's head before she was out. It was a little weird. She had also asked me if I wanted a mirror before I started pushing. I told her, "No thanks. I think there is a reason my head is up here." Dr. Young also told me he was impressed with how little I tore. I guess that's another good thing for a first time mom. Anyhow, when Sadie came out, the first thing I remember was looking at Linda and we both started crying. Linda was telling me how beautiful she was. My mom was commenting on how Sadie's arm came flying out like superman right after her head came out. Spencer was beaming and he later told me he was so impressed and proud of me. I was trying to see her, but they had whisked her away to clean out her lungs and other stuff. Spencer went over to be with her and I was stuck lying on the bed while Dr. Young sewed me up. I remember thinking, If I really only tore a little bit, what on earth is taking you so long?! I want to see my baby! Eventually, the stitching was done and this beautiful little baby with a full head of hear and puffy pink lips was sitting in my arms. Being the emotional person that I am, I looked at her and cried tears of joy and love. Finally, I was a mom.
Eventually, I fell asleep and the epidural wore off. I remember waking up feeling like I was sitting on water balloons and then I realized that was me... I was finally realizing the trauma my body had gone through to push out my almost 8 lb baby. Luckily, the hospital gives you lots of percocet, motrin 800, and gloves filled with ice for sitting on. (I loved those) Recovery began pretty good except that my bladder distended. That means I stretched it out so much that they had to put a catheter in me to drain it. The first time they drained 2 liters out of me. When I still couldn't pee on my own, they left the catheter in for a while. Eventually, my bladder began working normal again. To be honest, I liked the catheter. After months of getting up several times in the night to pee, I didn't have to. It was nice.
All in all, I can say I was definitely a grouchy pregnant lady, but now I'm a very happy mom. I didn't get any post-pardum depression (I had pre-pardum depression). Everytime I wake up, I looked into the face of my little angel and my heart swells with joy. She really is an angel. Of all the things I expected least, I never thought I'd have a good baby. But she is perfect. Katie lives upstairs and practically drools at how lucky I've been. My baby hardly cries and she sleeps great. She even loves bath time and it is sure fun to play dress up with all of her hair. We did, however, have a little bit of a bump at the beginning with nursing because her latch was wrong. By day 6 my nipples were scabbed, bleeding, and incredibly sore. I had gotten to the point where I only wanted to pump because it hurt so much to feed her. Thankfully, I called a lactation specialist from WIC to help me. Her name was Wendy and she helped me get my milk supply back up. I didn't catch the family curse of being an overproducer so I'm glad I called Wendy before my milk completely dried up. She also helped me get Sadie's weight back up to where it needs to be. I am so grateful to her and to WIC for providing that service. I don't know what I would have done without them. Now, I'm just waiting for Sadie to hit the 3 month mark where she should have her first growth spurt and start sucking harder. When that happens, I won't have to feed her every 2 hours and I might remember what it feels like to sleep deeply again. We'll have to see. Maybe that's when my angel won't be so angelic anymore. ;)
No matter what, I am so happy to be a mom. I've always been so independent, so I never thought I would enjoy having such a little one dictate my life, but honestly, I've never felt so satisfied. I am so glad we decided to have a family. After coming home, Spencer gave me a blessing and in it I was told that Sadie and I are going to be best friends here on earth and throughout eternity. I can already feel our friendship starting. Even though she can't talk, I feel so connected with her. I find myself laughing at her adorable expressions and singing and talking to her all the time. I have a feeling the most important chapter of my life has begun--thank goodness.
